Whole Lotta Stuff Goin' On

Wow.
Why do I always leave appointments with our Dr. feeling hopeful, but so overwhelmed?! :)

Pete and I, for the past three years, have been trying to get pregnant. We did have one positive pregnancy test two years ago, but it ended in a miscarriage. Since then we have had around seven similar experiences- all the same symptoms and "tells" of pregnancy (even when trying to use natural family planning as a birthcontrol method), and then experiencing what we've been assuming are miscarriages.

I can't speak for other women who've gone through miscarriages or infertility, but for myself- even though I know in the logical side of my brain that it's not my fault- I've felt so guilty. I've felt like, somehow, somewhere, I must have made a mistake and we'd gotten pregnant unintentionally, and here I was losing another one. It was so discouraging to me that I seemed to continue "making mistakes"- we kept going through this cycle of thinking we were pregnant and then thinking we were miscarrying.

Well, since seeing Dr. and using the Creighton Model System (CMS) I've been VERY CAREFUL. I've done exactly what they've said to do, and I KNEW, without a doubt, that I could not possibly be pregnant this cycle. But, all the same symptoms came along again: extreme hot flashes (seemingly out of nowhere), increased sensitivity to smells- to the point of nausea, extremely swollen and painful chest (NOT the typical PMS soreness), extreme bouts of emotion, and fatigue. And a very very long cycle (almost two weeks longer than expected). The one and only time I was able to get a positive pregnancy test all of those symptoms were there (along with a few others). So, I took a test just to make sure I wasn't crazy- nope, not pregnant. I didn't expect to be, but I also knew this time, without a doubt, that I couldn't be! That same day, later on, my period started and it was exactly like a miscarriage- again! I was so upset at not understanding why my body was acting like this that I called and insisted on seeing Dr. this week- well before we were scheduled to go in again.

He saw us this morning and, after listening to everything I had to say, looking at my chart, and verifying that, no, I could not possibly be pregnant, he told me that all this is very suggestive that my ovarian cysts have not gone away, and that because of that my hormones are again going nuts- acting a lot like a pregnancy would. He also said that the large tissue deposits (not blood clots or regular bleeding) that I pass during a period like this aren't a "baby", but the lining of my uterus- only it's coming off in large "chunks", not breaking down/shedding like it's supposed to. That's (obviously) not good.

So, what to do about it? Tomorrow morning I'm going in to have a "Glucose Tolerance" test. I can't eat anything after midnight tonight, and can't eat anything until after the test is done tomorrow, and they'll be taking my blood throughout a two hour period in which all they'll give me to "eat" is a super-sugary drink of some kind. I told Dr. that I've had a life-long problem with low blood sugar, and he let me know that I will probably get pretty sick from this test. They'll be measuring my glucose levels to see if I have something called "insulin intolerance". We're actually hoping the answer is yes, that I do, because Dr.'s putting me on a very low dose of a medication used to treat that in diabetics (Metaphormin?), and IF I have an intolerance to insulin there's an extremely good chance that being on this medicine will make the ovarian cysts go away. If I'm "fine" and the test comes out normal there's still a chance that the medicine will help, but the odds are increased that the cysts will remain and I'll require surgery.

Surgery for the ovarian cysts is what's really scary at this point. The surgery Dr. would want in that case is one that I'd have to go to Omaha for, because it's not even performed around here, and it would not only take off the cysts, but also a "slice" of each ovary. We've had so much trouble getting pregnant, that the thought of losing parts of one of my most vital reproductive organs is extremely scary for me! But, the side effects of this surgery are what's really worrisome. There's a chance that, if I have to have the surgery, I would develop "adhesions" on my ovaries instead of the cysts, which can result in chronic pain. I could also lose one (or both) of my ovaries.

The fact that, somehow, we have to get the cysts out of there, is unavoidable. They cause my estrogen levels to be waaay higher than they should, which causes the problems I've already mentioned with my cycles and the fake "miscarriages". Continuing to live my life constantly exposed to such high estrogen levels is also dangerous, because it gives me a much much higher probability that I'll develop breast, ovarian, or other "womanly" cancers. So, obviously, the cysts have to go, and we are hoping (and praying with all we've got) that the medicine WILL work and surgery will not be required!

At the same time, Dr. is very convinced that there's a very high likelihood that I also have Endometriosis- the first day of my "actual flow" during my period I am extremely "ache-y", to the point of not being able to function normally and for about a 12hr. period the only thing that gets me through is as much Aleve as I can take and being unconscious for as much of that period as possible- Dr. says that's a classic symptom of Endometriosis and, the fact that even during the two years I was extremely strict on my diet I still suffered with this, is a sign that it's not going to go away without medical intervention. For those who don't know, Endometriosis is when the lining of the uterus doesn't shed correctly, and instead of going out of the body it kind of floats around to other places it shouldn't be. It can cause breast pain (it can settle even up there in the body I guess) and pain in other places of the body- which you usually don't feel until your period or right before- but it really likes to act like scar tissue and clog up the works in the uterus and fallopian tubes.

SO, Dr. has referred me to a pelvic surgeon in the area that will put me to sleep, do a "scope" to see if there is Endometriosis, burn it all out if it is there, and inject my fallopian tubes with dye to see if they're clogged, and if they are hopefully fix it (if possible). This will all happen within the next one to two months. First and foremost he wants the results back from the Glucose Tolerance test.

Dr. also continues to suspect Thyroid problems due to the results that came back from all the blood work I had done a week or two ago. That may still require life-long medication. All of that stuff- thyroid, adrenals, etc.- interacts with each other and has to do with the body's hormone levels, so when things are off, even a little bit, all of the hormones that effect my reproductive abilities can get messed up, which in turn messes up my reproductive abilities. "One big mess" is a great way to sum up how all of this feels, if you ask me.

Dr. further clarified the reasoning behind the super strict diet for us today as well. Wheat, dairy, soy, red meat, legumes, eggs, and sugar are proven food sensitivities that some people (seems like more and more people these days, according to him) have. If you do have such sensitivities it messes with your body. One of the major ways the body gets messed with is through it's hormones and the levels and fluxes of those hormones. So, eating a diet void of these things is one of the best ways to help "fix" those problems. He has said previously that if I can stick to that diet 100% it might get rid of those cysts without the need for medication or surgery, but I've done the very best I could since seeing him and still had a fake "miscarriage". I also experienced similar cycles in the two years previous to meeting him and finding the CMS method,- during which time I was extremely strict with a diet that was very very similar to what he's currently got me on- and although I can't absolutely 100% prove that I wasn't really miscarrying at those times I never did get another positive pregnancy test and it's a good bet that, at least some of those cycles, I wasn't pregnant- that it was really my whacked-out estrogen levels (due to the ovarian cysts- we suspect they've been there for a long time now) that was to blame. Which is a relief, in a sort of twisted way, just because it means I wasn't "losing a baby"- my body was just really messed up. As a staunchly Pro-Life person the "miscarriages" have been extremely hard on me (again, this is just my own personal reaction to this, and not necessarily a reaction anyone else might have, whether they were "Pro-Life" or not).

So, this gives me cause to continue this diet strictly for the rest of my life, and to do my best to feed my children this way too, especially any little girls we may have. It sure can't hurt them, especially if they end up with the same food sensitivities to these things like I have. If I can give them any kind of an advantage in life through their nutrition, even if it's a small one, I'll have done what I can.

Anyway, that's it for now. We'll keep you posted as we learn more.

Love,
Jenni (& Pete) :)